InsaneJournal

All four of the Marauders like to sleep in the nude, although for the first three years at Hogwarts they all used traditional nightwear. They’ve never admitted it, but they were all too scared and nervous and uncertain their first year that they clung to any measure of privacy they could. It took three years for Sirius to build up the courage to change this routine. The others followed his example shortly after.

 

Almost the entirety of Gryffindor has been exposed to naked Marauder flesh at some point or another, but the most talked about event happened like this: 

 

It had been raining for several days. The grounds were muddy and muggy and generally icky to be about in, so a majority of the Gryffindors were holed up in the common room. The afternoon was passing quietly enough until the portrait swung open and James Potter walked into the room completely starkers and dripping wet. He strode nonchalantly to the middle of the floor, scratched his arse, stretched, and gazed about the room with a slightly dangerous glint in his eyes. James asked the (suddenly quiet and gaping) crowd if anyone had seen Sirius Black. Someone pointed to the dorms and James walked calmly away. There was a mass exodus for the library right about that time… Some say it was because anyone with any shred of intelligence could sense a Very Dangerous and Potentially Scarring revenge prank in the works. Others say it was because James’s body was a terrifying sight to behold.

 

Lily Evans was not scared away by either (and was secretly rather impressed).

 

There was That Incident on the fourth floor their fifth year which they Do Not Speak Of. EVER. 

 

(But if you give James just enough Dragon’s Breath whiskey to make him plastered but still coherent—which is a mighty deed in and of itself considering his propensity to pass out quickly, the light weight—you might just wheedle out of him a few details like: McGonagall, a suit of armor, and Padfoot’s… ‘little puppy’, as it were.)

 

Sirius has a pale pink birthmark the shape of a strawberry somewhere in the vicinity of his left buttocks. By ‘vicinity’, it is of course meant as ‘on his arse, a bit towards his side, and down nearly where the leg meets the body’. He doesn’t like to acknowledge it since he thinks it is a rather unfortunate flaw on an otherwise perfect body. It’s a girly color and a girly shape and has no interesting stories behind it like some of the tattoos he’s planning on getting (and has gotten). 

 

Remus quite likes the birthmark. He quite likes Sirius’s buttocks as well.

 

One day, Sirius plans on covering the mark up with a tattoo of some sort. (Which is really a lie, since secretly deep down at the bottom of his heart he actually is fond of it—the fact that Remus likes to lick it might have something to do with this.)

 

Once—and just once—Remus and Sirius did the four-legged frolic (and not in the full moon sense) outdoors. It was by the Quidditch pitch late at night with only a minimal chance of getting caught. Though the experience itself was pleasurable, it was soon decided it was too much of a hassle, what with dirt and leaves and other bits of nature getting all over the place. It was actually Remus who suggested it, and prissy Sirius who asked not to do it again. The outdoors part, I mean.

 

No one outside their little circle would ever believe it, but Remus is actually the exhibitionist and nudist of the group. Oh, he hides it well behind a mask of politeness and decorum. Remus doesn’t like making others uncomfortable. But when he and Sirius finally get their own place, and he knows that there’s little risk of someone flooing in, Remus will walk around all day in his birthday suit. 

 

Sirius, of course, doesn’t mind one bit. The only people Remus has ever been walked in on are James, Lily, Peter, his mother, and Dumbledore (though he wisely never told the others about the last one). James is perfectly comfortable with Remus’s quirks by now and just shrugs it off. Peter makes sure he owls ahead these days. Lily sighs in annoyance and looks away as he puts something on (but secretly, she’s rather impressed).

 

The exhibitionist side will come out at random times and usually involves Sirius getting shoved against a wall/door/table/convenient surface. The closer they are to being in public and the closer they are to being caught, the hornier Remus gets. Remus denies this.

 

Sirius once got arrested in London for indecent exposure. He’s told no one the circumstances surrounding the incident, though Remus blushes a lovely shade of red whenever it’s brought up. Sirius prides himself in being the only Marauder with a Muggle police record. 

 

Yes, it was Peter Pettigrew who ran across the field in the middle of the Ravenclaw-Slytherin Quidditch match wearing only the Sorting Hat. Yes, he somehow got away without detention (that hat was low enough to cover most of his face). Yes, it was on a dare. He’ll shrug and give you all the details if you ask about it. But the others know he’s quite chuffed about the incident since it prompted all the fifth year Hufflepuff girls to walk around the next few days talking about how the anonymous streaker was ‘quite fit, if you liked the stocky types’.

 

It has always been a belief of Sirius’s that the male body is in truth a rather ugly thing. That he lusts after cocks in general—and Remus’s cock in particular—doesn’t change the fact that he finds a woman’s body to be a thing of beauty. Something about the curves and the breasts and the skin were designed to be aesthetically pleasing, Sirius will say, and should be appreciated as such. He bought a nude painting from an amateur artist and hung it in the living room of their flat. Sirius calls her ‘Veronica’. 

 

Remus never openly told Sirius that he finds women’s bodies to be lust-worthy as well as beautiful, but Sirius has picked up on it. He isn’t upset about it. Not really. A man with Remus’s condition unfortunately doesn’t get many opportunities at relationships and this expands his chances, and Sirius wouldn’t want Remus to be alone forever if something happened to him.

 

Sirius once planned it perfectly so that his mother walked past an alley in Hogsmeade just as Remus was giving him a blow job. Remus got off on the exhibitionism of it, Sirius got off on the fact he was metaphorically giving his family the two fingered salute, and his mother turned three new shades of purple. All in all, it was a good day.

 

Harry has recently learned how to wriggle out of his clothes (and sometimes diaper) and now spends many hours wobbling about getting used to the walking thing with the unabashed nakedness only a child could possess. Nobody mentions it, but none of them get in too much of a hurry to cover him back up. With all the uncertainty happening around them, this innocence reminds them of sweeter times when baring all was a joke instead of a danger. It reminds them that no matter how ugly the world might become and how much they are forced to grow up, they will always have love and joy and hope and the eternity of the young at heart.